That on the eve of
her birthday she requests
for her eyebrows to be done
explaining other girls
do it, have been doing it
so my mother
with a French-tipped nail
slowly trails
my daughter’s brow
and colluding
offers
a rite of passage
and I wonder
into what.
II
That on the eve of
her birthday she asks
and I am thrust
into adolescent self alteration parading the catwalk,
masquerading the minefield
of female rites of passage,
into the cult of blind self-consciousness
clambering up the Sisyphean slope
of the unattainable oasis
the backlit mirage of perfection.
When did she start dissecting her (whole) self
into pieces (of self) and render them
unacceptable?
Where will the lines of her newly shaped brows take her?
nose job, boob job, hair job, lip jobs above and below
we decry FGM at the hands of mothers and aunties
across the sea
yet practice our own mutilation at the hands of mothers and aunties
right here
III
That on the eve of
her birthday she asks
for her eyebrows to be done
explaining other girls
do it, have been doing it
so I
trail my soil-stained hands
along her pristine face
and offer
your brows are perfect as they are
on your perfect as it is face your
perfect as it is you
and for the long
moment of your being
you will remain glorious
and
colluding
let us
move the needle
not to you but from you
to excise the lie
and
right the passage.
~ Mary Silwance
Mary Silwance is an environmental educator and activist who blogs at Tonic Wild and cofounded One Less Pipeline. She is a mother of three and a gardener who aspires to having goats, bees and chickens. Her work has been published in Syracuse Cultural Workers Datebook, Konza Journal, Descansos and Sequestrum.
Guest Editor Caryn Mirriam-Goldberg, Ph.D., the 2009-13 Kansas Poet Laureate is the author of two dozen books, including, most recently, Miriam’s Well, a novel; Everyday Magic: A Field Guide to the Mundane and Miraculous, and Following the Curve, a collection of embodied poetry. . Founder of Transformative Language Arts at Goddard College where she teaches, Mirriam-Goldberg also leads writing workshops widely, particularly for people living with serious illness and their caregivers. With singer Kelley Hunt, she co-leads writing and singing retreats.
I love this poem. It takes me back to a time when I was young. My mom was in the hospital after having surgery. My aunt, a beauty operator, decided to give me a permanent, even though my hair was naturally curly. I was too young to object. When I went to visit my mom, she almost had a stroke when she saw me. She was extremely angry that my aunt had messed with my hair.
Thanks for your comment. I’m glad this poem spoke to you.
Thanks for pointing out the other side of the beauty industry. jk
There’s always another side, yes?
Dear Mary,
I do remember reading this poem when it first came out. When I saw it tonight when I searched your name I was delighted that it was yours because I like it very much. You have a skill that I find so attractive in a poet — the use of strong verbs that creates magic as I imagine the movement in my mind. Really nice to meet you.